First published on Reading Room, 28 June 2020

Hark! Hark! It’s Dave Clark,

riding his unicycle round the bike park.

To the beach he unicycles forth,

the member for Dunedin North.

He unicycles all over town.

Between home offices mid lockdown.

Queen Cindy’s beam turns to a frown

at her unicycling Minister of the Crown.

That was a close shave, Dave.

We almost had a second wave.

The media pack, they glare and scowl.

Throw us meat, they growl and howl.

Dave wheels in circles, 1-2-3.

He wheels so fast, he wheels so free.

Operational matters are not for me.

They are not my responsibility.

Hush, shush! No need for fuss.

There goes poor Ash under the bus.

Hark! Hark! There goes Dave Clark,

pedaling off into the dark.