Oh boy. If you’re reading this, you made it through.
A freak, a mutant, the year that said “BOO!”

So as the days gurgle down the sink of December
let us return at our leisure, and try to remember …

It started off normal enough. It started off straight.
We scampered off to work because we couldn’t be late.

But waa-hey! KABOOM! What a year to be sent!
And what a strange cast who came and then went!

The star of the show is a microscopic bug.
A virus who has got us knocked out on the rug.

We had a Grand Cheezel POTUS, the Master of Bluster.
He started out rooster and ended up feather duster.

Then we had a few other international celebs.
Rudy, Prince Andrew, Boris – they’re not like us plebs.

Dave Clark zooms past juggling on his unicycle.
Then that toilet seat fellow – I think his name’s Michael?

A few of the greats soared like rockets and then fell.
Simon the Unfortunate and Paula Benefit, if you can’t tell.

Toad Mullet. Lord Toad. His tenure precarious.
Our lesson here is to take mental health serious.

Winston walked in off the field. Congratulations, your nibs!
The Shawrax saved private eco-schools for rich kids.

Lady Oravida crushed the National Party most effective.
Queen Cindy the Kind dictated a kindness directive.

Jami Lee Ross and Billy TK Jr. – they had some fans.
They’ve all been driven off in a secure armoured van.

Dave Seymour smashed it right out of the park.
For gun rights for slum lords, he hits the mark.

There’s so many whose songs must be sung.
Kelvin the Poet! Cash Grant! Dave Wong Tung!

Furry footed Goodfellow, and then ‘Pebbles’ Waititi
whose ten demands include renegotiating the Treaty.

With siren on full, Stu Gnash, Detective Inspector
hurtles up State Highway One with his poop detector.

There are others now on whom fortune’s rays shine.
Baron Luxon is thinking his plans are going just fine.

We had elections, misdirections and referendum rejections.
The list is so long we had to take it in sections.

These days banks pay YOU to take out a loan.
It’s Zombie Economics in a fiscal Twilight Zone.

But though many of us feel down in the dumps,
billionaires the world over are coming up Trumps!

So keep smiling and give yourself an attitude check:
life is just great if you are dealing the deck.

(PS: And remember this year is almost at it’s end –
on January the 1st it all starts again.)